I've been in ministry for a long time and in that time I've seen some things, experience some things and "as much as lieth in me" endured many things including people (This includes family).
In all of this I have learned, that the phrase or saying, "make it work" sounds good, however it doesn't always work.
If an issue or situation you're trying to make work, is not designed to work with that in which you're trying to make it work with, all you're doing is adding more strain, stress and pain to the situation or issue.
A square peg won't fit into a round hole, no matter how hard or how much you attempt to try to make it look as if it does. It may look like it fits, but looks are deceiving.
People have a sincere habit of trying to make something fit into God's will, while not knowing or understanding His will or plan for our lives. Then after some years of prayer, gaining knowledge, wisdom and understanding, we come to ourselves and begin to realize that, that square peg really doesn't fit into that round hole.
You've tried for a long time to make it work, now it's time to make a change. Change doesn't necessarily mean you did anything wrong, but it can mean you want to do something right.